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anarchism, victim culture, defooing

Why Everything is Your Own Fault

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Everything that happens to you is your own fault. 

And all those things you blame circumstance and other people for, are actually either completely, or largely, your own fault. 

I know it's really nice to subscribe to the victim culture, where nothing is your fault because everything that was done to YOU was out of your control right? 

blame your parents for your lack of ability to get laid, blame your peers for your self deprecating internal dialogue, blame your sociopath co-workers for keeping you down, blame your ex boyfriend for giving you body image issues, blame your ex gf for using you…but if you're over 18, your are legally and hopefully mentally, an adult…so stop it. 

Remember, you are an active participant in your own demise. 

Disclaimer: there are real victims in this world who had 0 choice in the horrible abuse they've suffered; but that's probably not you, so please…

Stop blaming your parents. 

Your parents, to an extent, both by genetics and upbringing shape you. It's important to be conscious of this for purposes of personal reflection and enabling of growth. But at some point in your adult life, you are no longer allowed to blame them for how you turned out! Because here's the catch: if you're aware enough of your parent's shortcoming to cast blame, then you're aware enough to work through the effect their actions had on you. So do that instead of complaining and displacing responsibility. 

And if you ever find yourself saying things like "well my mom should not have had children with such an abusive guy" or "well I  should not have been born into an unstable environment"  …this is literally complaining about being born. if you really mean it, there is a simple way to reverse their mistake, but suicide is really terrible and I do not suggest anyone go for that, so please, learn to deal with your existence.

Stop blaming the opposite sex. 

Girls. Men will treat you how you allow them to treat you. So if they treat you like shit, over and over, you are the one picking these guys are you not? You are the one allowing yourself to be treated that way. There's no magic formula, it's just a gruelling vetting process closely tied to your own self-worth.

Girls. If you listen to what a man says, instead of watch what a man does, then you will be played, and it will be your own fault. 

Boys. If all the girls in your life just use you for money, then stop leading with your money. 

Boys. If you can't seem to find a lovely girl, it's not that all women are evil. It's just that you probably suck. 

It's not that "nice guys always finish last" it's that "nice guys who have no personality and nothing to offer always finish last." And who's fault is that? 

Stop blaming shitty people.

The world is full of assholes. 

But if someone deceives you it's your fault. They can't lie without someone to lie to. By believing the lie you partake in the lying. It doesn't mean that it's right, or that you're a bad person, but when you believe the lie, you do accept some responsibility. Like if someone says "give me the keys to your house, I promise I won't steal anything" and you got full retard and believe them, and they steal everything, yeah they're a pice of shit, but that was still your own fault. Doesn't mean you deserve it, but you participated in the result. 

Everyone's been abused. Everyones been manipulated. Everyone has shitty parents to some extent. Everyone's ex bf or gf sucks, that's why they're your ex. So "everyones a victim." But that just means, no one is a victim, just like if everyones a special snowflake, no one is a special snowflake…oh and remember, when the snowflakes smelt, they all look the same. 

I have met a lot of people. The people that complain the most, the ppl that have the most pity for themselves…their definition of abuse is laughably trivial. 

Now the ppl I've met that WERE abused, like actually seriously abused….exploited, slandered, abandoned, had to deal with drug addicted parents, deal with death threats, physical and mental brutality, imprisonment, violence….are some of the strongest, happy go lucky, good hearted ppl I've ever met. Oh, and they certainly don't complain about what their parents did or didn't do, and how that made them do things they apparently have no control over doing.

And no these people don't repress their troubles, otherwise I wouldn't know any of this. They talk about it, they just factor out blame & self-pity. 

Take responsibility for your life, for your choices, for the results they bring, Act instead of complaining, admit responsibility instead of blaming every single fucking person around for something you definitely brought upon yourself. Shape your circumstances instead of using them as an excuse. Navigate through conflict instead of feeding it. 

Lick your wounds clean and let them heal. And they will all leave scars, but most scars fade away, and those that don't look fucking badass and shape you into a more interesting person. 

Comments
6 Responses to “Why Everything is Your Own Fault”
  1. Frank says:

    So true. As soon as you blame someone else for your troubles you remove any possibility of fixing the situation yourself.

  2. JohnH says:

    I am probably, no I think actually, on the opposite end of the spectrum. I tend to blame myself for everything. And I guess it’s a good thing, because that is how I discovered my humanity, my link to humanity, and the unity of humanity; and therein, as one with all, yet within the singular person of Jesus to whom we are all individually bound, God.

    The best example of that – the means, actually, of my discovery of the unity of humanity – was by taking my share of responsibility for the Holocaust. I thrust myself into it, through the copious amounts of video and text available on the subject, through my vivid imagination and grim determination to understand what had happened to the Jews; and I became to the best of my ability a victim, and also a perpetrator – the latter having been shockingly easy to do; which made the former even more imperative.

    It was a grueling, soul-searing and mind-bending, even breaking, experience; and I held myself to that raging fire until I could bear no more, and fled to my bed where only the spirits of the murdered dead could comfort me – and they did. They most certainly did; pulling me down into their realm to rest with them for a while before sending me back. And then I went back, and kept coming back.

    I learned well what Lifton meant when he wrote that to immerse oneself in the Nazi killing machine is to forever change ones relation to the human project. He was actually my inspiration, early on in my “study.”

    And then I learned some more. Much more. God help me, more than I ever wanted to know. But I was caught, changed, and committed. Beyond any hope, or even will, to extract myself. Though the desire to do so was there, it could only manifest as a desire to just go completely out of my mind. I so wished that I were insane. I watched. I read. I thought, and I wrote. And I became more sane than I had ever been. (I would be interested to know a clinician’s opinion of that. Perhaps I should consult Lifton himself. Perhaps I shall.)

    The Holocaust became a lens, from which I could not look away, and through which my vision of the world, of my country, my people, and myself had been irrevocably changed. I saw how my country, the country I loved, which I thought could do no evil, made it all happen as surely as did Hitler. Of course I know that it was not everyone, only a small number of Americans, top leadership and their minions, only a few humans unworthy of their own humanity. But what of guilt by association? What of the meaning of my own taking of responsibility, so long after the fact? What of the unity of us all? Was Jesus giving advice, saying to bear one another’s burdens, or was he stating some essential, intrinsic truth of human existence? Guess where I come down on that.

    But I do not judge. And I do not ask for sympathy. For I am no longer me. I don’t know what I am; except lost; except found… except lost; except found… except… ? What are YOU?

    It might be real impressive to stop there. But my purpose is not only to sear the mind of the reader of this comment; though if that is all it does, I am happy with that. You came to it through the more mundane preparation of Dear Julia, whose article I have attempted to hack in order to trap you. So, I can’t very well stop there, now can I?… What to do?… What to do?… I need a break. Back in a few moments.

    Nope. I got nothing. Guess that will have to do. Good luck 😉

  3. Jeremy says:

    So I am taken to family court by grandparents who lie to gain consideral visitation. Time from a judge whom had no interest in my parental opinions. That I could factually bsck up . this caused profound ilreversable effects to Myself and Family…and this is My fault?

  4. Isaiah says:

    You are an ignorant disgusting disgrace of a human being. You are a demon. Everything is our own fault? Really? You're sick and racist. Racist against humans. You are truly a demon. I hope you're suffering everyday for the lies you post. I hope you end up in so much for the pain you're trying to cause to innocent human beings dealing with the weird annoyance of this accidental unexpected life. You are scum. 

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