why have kids for you

10 Selfish Reasons To Have Kids

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I asked life to give me a man who'd always love me, so life laughed and gave me a son.


I looked forward to motherhood before I hit puberty. But this feeling was not met with consensus. Half the females I'd speak to would say "I don't want kids. I'm too selfish." I recall my 8 year old neighbor saying this to me as we climbed through the bushes behind her house. I'm still as shocked as I was then. 

I understand what women (and girls) mean when they utter such things. They're saying they want complete freedom to do what what they want, when they want, and naturally, they conclude this want to be a selfish one. 

But this is not actually selfish, and if it is, it's a pretty short term definition of the word. Below are 10 reasons why it's actually more selfish to have children, than not. 


1. Having kids is by definition selfish because you're propagating your genes

Unless you've left a mark on history, having children is the only way you'll be remembered beyond the grave, both physically, and metaphysically. Children are basically a diluted form of immortality. 

2. You will be unconditionally loved

When you wake up every morning it'll be to a face that's genuinely happy to see you. No one will ever look at you the way your child does. I'd miss 10,000 sunsets for that look. 

3. Your children will take care of you when you're old

You're less likely to die surrounded buy your exotic bird collection, rotting in your home for weeks because no one noticed or cared. Many of us have become so shortsighted that we forget how physically vulnerable people become with age. Without a young family around you, you will be adding to the dust in a retirement facility.

4. You get to see a human develop from start to finish

I can't stress how incredible this is. Everyday is filled with discovery. 

"Where did he pick that up?"

"Is that an innate or learned behavior?"

"Holy shit, that's exactly what his father does!" 

You made someone and now you get to watch that someone become something. It's pretty wondrous. 

5. Kids are fun  

You get to act like an idiot for most of the day. You get to read all your favorite books and watch all your favorite movies. You get to play cards, board games, videogames, sports. You get a reason to go do an endless amount of fun things. You get to buy pets "for the kids," and bake cookies "for your kids." I can go on and on…

6. You get the most loyal best friend 

You know when you were a teen and your friends were unreliable, and you couldn't always get someone to do something with you and when you did they'd be downers? Friend quality tends to improve with age, but it's still never ideal. But when you have a kid, you get the most loyal best friend who's super enthusiastic about anything you want to do for a good 12 years.

"And then the aquarium?"


"We need to go to the DMV"


"Let's wake up at 5am on a brisk and damp November morning, and drive 2 hours north to pick mushrooms we could just as easily buy at the store"


7. You have someone to take care of, and that feels good. 

Especially if you're a woman, you are wired for caring behavior to feel good. This is why so many women get stuck with awful men. They want to save them, change them, and love them into being better, and their brain rewards them when they try to do this. But this is an instinct that's best reserved for little kids. Women, stop turning men into children; have some instead. 

8. It can improve your relationship

You have an ethereal bond & lifetime commonality with the person you had children with. This adds to your foundational love for each other, helps motivate your commitment, and gives both of you a common goal. I'm not saying you should have kids to improve your relationship, I'm saying that in many cases when you do, your relationship becomes something a lot more meaningful, and this is a huge reward to reap. 

9. Purpose

As soon as your baby is born, you have something that you love much more than yourself. This fuels an incredible sense of purpose. Everyday you have a concrete goal, and everyday you get something done. I don't think your children should be your only source of purpose, but they'll rarely leave you wanting. 

10. This


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